Every five or so weeks, I like to keep my contacts out for a few days & opt for glasses instead. I do this to give my eyeballs a bit of a break. My eyes really do feel a lot better sans contacts, but I’m never totally comfortable in glasses. Not only is it hard to get used to having frames in my peripheral vision, lights glaring in the lenses, turning my entire head as opposed to just my eyes, etc but I also just never feel totally comfortable look-wise in my glasses. That’s kind of funny because at one point I longed for glasses, among other uncommon things to long for.
When I was way younger (Elementary School days) I really wanted three things; 01. Glasses, 02. Braces, & 03. A cast. My weird little seven – ten year old self would literally fantasize about those three things & even do what I could to imitate them.
I thought glasses were so cool. So many different frame shapes & colors. In 4th grade, my entire school had vision tests done. I failed. A week later I went to the Optometrist & what do you know, I actually needed glasses. I was stoked! Yes! I picked out what I thought were THE coolest blue & lime green speckled circular frames & couldn’t wait to wear them to school the following Monday. It was also cool to finally see, even though I had no idea how bad my vision apparently was. Like you can actually see the leaves on trees, they aren’t just green blobs!? No way!! When I got to school, my excitement soon ended. I was picked on for my new glasses. Everyone said my glasses were ugly, called me four-eyes, & made me feel totally embarrassed. My glasses lasted less than 2 weeks of wear before I could no longer take it. I then went “blind” for almost two years before getting contacts at age eleven.
I also really wanted braces as a child. My childhood was right when the colorful rubber bands for braces came out & I thought they were badass, haha. Some of my friends had braces & they would constantly change the rainbow in their mouth. Gator fans would get Gator colors, some chick had glow in the dark shit, it was awesome. My teeth were perfectly straight & it actually upset me. I so desperately wanted braces or a retainer that I literally put a straightened paperclip in my mouth to mimic the look of one. It worked from a distance apparently as my 3rd grade teacher thought it was a real retainer. I am so embarrassed & grossed out that I did that. My germaphobe self cannot even fathom doing that now. Try to not make too much fun though! I was eight, & eight year olds are fucking weird! Now I’m almost twenty years older, & at age twenty-seven I have this one crooked tooth that drives me nuts. I absolutely do not want visible braces these days, but I do hope to get Invisalign in the not to distant future.
What the hell does it take to get a broken bone around here? Damn!” – 8 year old me… Okay so I never actually said those exact words, & I never actually wanted a broken bone because, ouch! But I did want a cast. Apparently like rainbow colored braces, I thought a cast made the perfect fashion accessory. Hey, there’s gotta be an editorial out there using casts, or a runway show with neckbraces or something, right? No really, there probably is! Anywho, like I said eight year old me was super weird, obviously, & I wanted a cast – a hot pink one to be exact. I wanted to write my favorite quotes on it (which at this age were probably all from Mary-Kate & Ashley movies). And I wanted a cast for all of my friends & family to sign, draw on, etc. I eventually got over this rather odd longing. I’ve actually never had a broken bone, & I’m more cautious than ever, so I hope I’m in the clear!
If you didn’t already think I was a total fuuurrr-eeaaak, you certainly must think so now!